Tolmie Peak Lookout is nestled within the northwest nook of Mount Rainier Nationwide Park. On a transparent day, those that hike roughly 4 miles the lookout are rewarded with picture-perfect views, face-to-face with greatness: The mountain stands so shut, it’s as in case you may attain out and contact it. (Don’t attempt, although. It’s steep up there.) Glacial lake Eunice, discovered alongside the best way, makes a spectacular resting level or perhaps a vacation spot by itself, as individuals swim in its vibrant blue waters throughout hotter months. The hike has one thing for everybody, from strenuous challenges to average strolls.
My husband, Jon, and I had pushed right here numerous occasions. We even introduced our daughter right here for one in all our first household outings when she was only a few weeks outdated. However I’d by no means been courageous sufficient to trek to the outdated fireplace lookout, perched at practically 6,000 ft.
The rationale? I’ve nervousness.
I wish to be adventurous, however racing ideas intrude. Every mile I enterprise deeper into the woods, my pleasure is matched by dread. How can locations that convey me such peace additionally induce such concern? I’ve typically questioned.
So it was with Tolmie Peak. My spinning head at all times discovered a approach to persuade me that climbing to the lookout was too far, too excessive, too dangerous.
Now that I’m in my early thirties, I’ve wished to shake off these heavy emotions that forestall me from totally having fun with what I like. I additionally need my daughter to develop up fearless within the outside. It was time to look Tolmie Peak sq. within the switchbacks and say, “I’m gonna hike you.”
First, although, I turned to Yasith Yasanayake for skilled recommendation. Yasanayake, an REI Experiences information, has led REI Co-op members on dozens of hikes all through the wilderness of the Northeast. His first suggestion for battling nervousness exterior: Don’t go alone.
“There are a lot of variables that may lead somebody to really feel like they’re in panic mode, particularly in an unfamiliar setting,” Yasanayake says. “It’s finest to have individuals you belief close by that can assist you work by these feelings once they come up.”
For those who battle with nervousness, it’s necessary to acknowledge how you’re feeling earlier than, throughout and even after a hike, Yasanayake says. Occasional nervousness is a standard a part of life, in accordance with the Nationwide Institute of Psychological Well being, however for individuals with an nervousness dysfunction, the sensation doesn’t go away simply; signs can intrude with day by day actions. There are a number of kinds of nervousness issues. For instance, individuals residing with generalized nervousness dysfunction have problem controlling emotions of fear, and restlessness, or the sensation of being “on edge.” Individuals with panic dysfunction, in the meantime, can expertise sudden durations of intense concern, discomfort or a way of shedding management even when there isn’t any clear hazard. (That is also referred to as a panic assault.)
My nervousness presents in a different way relying on the state of affairs. Yasanayake advised that thoughtfully processing every a part of the hike because it was underway may assist me learn to management my emotions. Right here’s how that appeared in apply for me.
Preparation and Packing
My first step was securing a climbing buddy. I requested Eva Seelye, an journey photographer and my longtime good friend, to assist me navigate to Tolmie Peak. We set a date for my first-ever sundown hike, as a result of I knew it will put me exterior of my consolation zone. Climbing after darkish is one thing I’d by no means have agreed to earlier than, not to mention advised. There have been too many unknowns, like the potential for getting misplaced, injured or operating right into a wild animal. However with correct preparation and a educated information at my aspect, the thought appeared so much much less scary.
As I loaded my automobile, I saved one other of Yasanayake’s suggestions in thoughts: Adhere to the Ten Necessities as a fail-safe packing information. I tossed these must-haves in my path pack:
- Water (ideally a half liter of water per hour climbing)
- Excessive-protein snacks
- Further heat socks
- Waterproof climbing boots
- A hat
- A primary-aid equipment
- Further clothes layers
- A light-weight supply
- Water resistant sunscreen
- A satellite tv for pc communicator
- Pepper or bear spray for self-defense
Earlier than leaving I additionally did some unpacking—that’s, processing the anxious emotions I knew I’d encounter in the course of the hike. I requested for recommendation from my therapist, Katie Ladenburg, LCSW, who has practically a decade of expertise serving to individuals who dwell with extreme nervousness. She first advised that I contemplate all attainable coping methods for my psychological and bodily “toolkit.”
“When planning for one thing that makes you anxious, it’s good to discover the idea of being current in your day by day life and apply it earlier than you exit and try this factor, so you’ve gotten a deal with on the right way to use that as your first go-to instrument,” she defined. She suggests having a wide range of instruments at-hand, together with prescribed treatment when applicable. “Don’t neglect,” she added, “probably the most highly effective instrument is speaking to different individuals about the place you’re going and while you’ll be again.”
Verify, test and test. I shared my vacation spot with my husband. I double-checked my pack and automobile provides and tucked away my treatment. (Which I take as wanted when panic brews.) Earlier than heading out the door, I grabbed one final merchandise: a journal to put in writing my ideas.
“Taking a second to course of on paper why you’re doing this, whereas acknowledging the dangers and rewards, can assist comprise the concern,” Ladenburg instructed me. “It helps you lean into doing the stuff you love even once they scare you, so that you’re not a prisoner to that concern. That’s the way you construct confidence—doing one thing laborious and getting by it. Writing your emotions down additionally offers you one thing to look again on later, to mirror on the expertise.”

Managing Nervousness on the Path
On a cloudy September afternoon, I met Seelye simply exterior the nationwide park entrance. She’d performed a photoshoot earlier that day, but someway nonetheless had power. Her power, and her cool, calm and picked up mentality, would get me by the hike, with its 1,100-foot elevation acquire. We began round 4pm.
4:47pm
We made good time on the primary mile, taking a water break after about an hour. I jotted down my first journal entry: Feeling excited, sweaty and barely out of breath as we get greater. My lungs had been already feeling it. Then I remembered one thing else Yasanayake stated: Talk what you’re feeling because it’s occurring.
“Permitting your self to voice, ‘I’m kinda freaking out proper now,’ or anything that comes up is vital,” they defined. “As a information, it’s on me to facilitate that form of setting throughout an REI expertise, but in addition on contributors to talk up when it’s occurring and never be afraid to take action.”
I instructed Seelye the elevation was beginning to get to me, and I wanted extra time. We took a minute to soak within the forest’s silence, gazing on the wall of dense, grey mist we’d be meandering by for the following few hours.
5:56pm
An hour later, we reached the crystal-clear water and breathtaking surroundings of Eunice Lake. I appeared to the other shoreline, the glasslike water reflecting the moody sky above.
“There it’s! We’re so shut!” Seelye stated as she pointed towards the hearth lookout a few mile away. However to me, it’d as effectively have been sitting atop Mount Everest. Acquainted, anxious ideas began to creep in. I doubted whether or not I may do that, beating myself up that I struggled with a distance that appeared simple to my good friend. I even tried to chop the journey brief, saying, “Let’s simply eat right here. It’s too cloudy to see something, anyway.”
Fortunately, Seelye wouldn’t let me stop. She agreed that the tower appeared excessive from the place we had been standing, but in addition that it wasn’t so far as it appeared. She’d validated my emotions—however she additionally didn’t let me again out so simply. Her encouragement recalled one other tip from Ladenburg: Remind your self you’re ready. “Give up to that reminder while you’re not feeling assured, and attempt to put some belief in your self,” she had stated. “Say, ‘I’m doing this and I’m slightly scared, however it’s greater than seemingly going to be nice.’ Enthusiastic about the statistics of what number of different individuals have performed one thing comparable can assist in these occasions too.’”
6:36pm
Feeling intimidated and uneasy, I journaled. The solar might be setting quickly. To maintain such intrusive ideas at bay as we hiked the ultimate stretch, I talked Seelye’s ear off and saved a watch on the clouds veiling the mountain.
All of a sudden, a small, snowcapped ridge peeked out in entrance of us. I felt my nervousness begin fading. Is that this actually occurring? I assumed. Am I about to achieve my first summit? We picked up the tempo, buzzing with pleasure that we is likely to be minutes away from the view of a lifetime.
7:01pm
With a coronary heart charge as elevated as the bottom beneath us, we turned the final nook—and, miraculously, the clouds had been quickly lifting. There she was, Mount Rainier (Tahoma in Puyallup) in all her glory.
The mountain and surrounding peaks appeared to float on a magic carpet of clouds—a phenomenon referred to as a temperature inversion. I’d by no means been in a spot to see one earlier than. And I undoubtedly wouldn’t have skilled it if I’d let my nervousness win. As I stood in awe at 5,900 ft elevation, I felt on high of the world in each method.
I penned one other journal entry to commemorate the second: “Feeling proud, at peace, completely satisfied and … nonetheless scared for the solar to go down.”

7:40pm
Although I wished to dwell on that mountaintop without end, the longer we waited to descend, the darker it will be. As Seelye helped me get my headlamp on straight, I blurted out, “That is the half I’m most afraid of!” As if on cue, the clouds rolled in, and raindrops hit the again of my neck. I scoured my mind for an additional professional tip that might calm me in the course of the darkish descent. The idea of “grounding” got here to thoughts.
“Grounding is something that brings you again to the right here and now,” Ladenburg had instructed me. “This includes totally different types of meditation, like yoga or breathwork—taking a minute to concentrate on nothing however respiratory,” she stated. It may very well be so simple as “pondering of a phrase that brings you confidence or stopping to bodily contact the bottom and join with the earth.”
Posing in downward going through canine on a downhill slope didn’t appear sensible, so I as an alternative took a couple of deep breaths and targeting the phrase I’d put at the back of my thoughts for simply this event: “I’m ready, and I’m succesful.”
Between these workout routines; specializing in the filth in entrance of me; and sticking near my trusty path companion, I made it down the steep terrain. I adopted my headlamp’s shining beam for 3 winding miles till it met the primary highway, then set free a relieved sigh once I lastly noticed our automobile.
9:03pm
“We did it!” Seelye and I rejoiced as we kicked off our boots and threw our packs to the bottom. “You climbed a rattling mountain,” she jogged my memory, congratulating me on all that I’d overcome. As we pulled out of the park and onto the freeway, I put one final professional suggestion into apply: Find time for self-reflection.

Reflections of a (Previously?) Anxious Hiker
“The ‘after’ half following an anxious occasion is about making peace with the narrative of what occurred,” Yasanayake says. “It’s acknowledging the great and the dangerous and being humble to the expertise that life has given you, to be able to study from it. Then, it’s pondering by issues like, ‘If these anxious emotions got here up, why? When did it occur? Am I OK with that occuring once more, or are there issues I can do in a different way subsequent time to stop it?’”
Practically each REI Experiences journey Yasanayake leads features a consumer who’s nervous not directly, even when not everybody chooses to voice it, the information says. It’s completely regular to expertise some nervousness outside. In actual fact, slightly nervousness could be a good factor; it could actually maintain you conscious and observant of your environment. Even Seelye who makes a residing doing rad issues in nature, nonetheless has anxious moments right here and there. “As a lot as I like sleeping exterior, I’m at all times on excessive alert for any little sound that might imply a big animal is close by,” she admits.
Processing my feelings in the course of the drive residence was a significant ending to the day. I considered how my need to discover is stronger than my nervousness, and the way I must keep in mind that. I additionally thought of how having fun with the outside is as laborious or as simple as I make it. I received’t at all times really feel snug tackling a number of miles on a hike, and I in all probability received’t take my daughter on a path like this for a while. Now that I do know I can attain the Tolmie Peak Lookout, although, I’ll attain farther ones, in time. That’s progress sufficient for me.
“It doesn’t need to be all slingin’ miles and crushin’ mountains,” Yasanayake says. “Make getting exterior no matter you need it to be.”
The submit I instructed my nervousness to take a hike. Right here’s the way it went. appeared first on Unusual Path – An REI Co-op Publication.